Ah, life. :)

Hello everyone. I promised to update soon. Please count this as soon!

Since October's Gamma Knife procedure things have changed somewhat. The gamma was successful in removing a good portion of regrowth, which is amazing. The MRI looked great. Whew.

So here's some info.
Mom ends up in the ER for various things and after mimicking a stroke before Christmas we found her there yet again. Her amazing friend (and nurse!) Debbie had helped us out all day and was at the house and was able to get her into the car and get her to the ER quickly (with our amazing neighbors following). I stayed home. I couldn't do it that night. I stayed home with Sam and Kels and prayed. Kira ran over to help with Sam as I arranged a plane ticket for France to come on the next flight. We didn't know what would happen that night. It was humbling, frightening and truthfully, very scary.
Thankfully, she had not had a stroke but her brain had swollen from stress and caused the left side of her face to fall. They took an MRI on that December day and her tumor had NOT progressed. Whew.
During those weeks following gamma knife which happened to be Christmas break, my family was busy preparing for my mom to receive 24 hour care, at our house, in Idaho. Her doctors told us it was time to keep an eye on her around the clock. Our family had that confirmed to us all through the quite whisperings of the spirit. It was not a difficult decision to make and mom agreed, knowing it was the right thing to do.
She is here with us now. Enjoying Sammy's smiles and all the love we can give here. Family and friends are visiting constantly and we welcome the company. France and I even went on a date last week (so important we are finding out)! Our amazing ward here has jumped in and brought food and friendship. Her visiting teachers are stopping in as well as anyone else that gets wind of the new sister in the ward. I love that about my faith, wherever we go, we will always have a new huge ward family to welcome us in. We are never alone.

I just want you all to know, we have the business taken care of, we have Kelsey taken care of. Elder Bird in Arizona is up to date on mom and those two have been able to see each other on video chat. Heavenly Father truly is looking out for us. Mom is having a hard time adjusting to being away from the home she has lived in for so long. It seems as if our whole lives are wrapped up in Spokane and to ask her to walk away has been extremely challenging. Life is a funny thing.

I just want to take up some space on this blog to bear my testimony of life. We are here because we chose to come. We chose to come to this beautiful earth and experience joy and pain. To love, to hurt. To know true happiness. To have families. To learn to crawl, walk, run and then slow down again as our time comes to a close. This life is but a moment in the scheme of things. I know that for a fact. I lived before and I will live again. As much as I don't want to let mom go, my dad will be there to welcome her home. She may not be there at graduation for my brothers, she may not meet the women of their dreams and tell them how handsome they look and how lucky they are at the Temple on their wedding days and she may not be there to hold our babies when they come. But she will hand those babies to us. Grandma and grandpa get to teach them and be with them before, help prepare them for this incredible experience. They will be there for us, all around us.
I am full of gratitude to my Savior for helping me understand that life is to be lived and to fill our time here with good works and love and joy. Life is not to be wasted wandering in paths we know can be harmful to ourselves and others. Why waste such precious time? I know that Jesus is the Christ and through him I will live again. I will be with my family again. You too. :)

The doctors have not given up on her. She is still fighting. We know that her being alive today is a miracle already considering what she has been through. She is smiling and fighting. She is eating. She is balding! She is happy. She loves the little hugs and kisses she gets from Sam. She loves hearing letters from Jake, video chatting with her beautiful granddaughters in Georgia and her son in Spokane and spending time watching movies with Brett when he visits. We love her.

For those caretakers and family members out there who have gone through this or are currently enduring, our hearts go out to you, we think of you and pray for you too. Cancer is ugly, but life is beautiful isn't it? Mom's time on this earth may be coming to a close sooner than we thought, but boy has she lived and she's sticking around for while. Come visit. :)

John 14:27 ^aPeace I leave with you, my ^bpeace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be ^ctroubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27

Love, Lindsay


PS, what timing for this message. I love the Mormon Messages. LOVE them.