Life Sketch- Lindsay Bird Nielson

I had the great responsibility of speaking at both my father's, and now my mother's funeral. Attempting to capture the lives of these two incredible people could never be accomplished in just a few paragraphs. Here is the text for the life sketch of my mother, best friend and hero.

Thank you. The support we have received these past 20 months from family, friends, coworkers, medical staff, neighbors and our ward family has been significant and necessary. We cannot adequately express the gratitude we have for each of you. The moments we have shared will not be forgotten. You have been the answer to our prayers, a blessing to us and the light in our lives. Our dear mother, and we, her children, wanted you to know this and I know that our dad is grateful to you as well.

My mom came into this world premature, weighing in at just under four pounds. Her parents knew then they were bringing home a fighter. She was one tough cookie. She’s had that fiery attitude her whole life. We think she is the first person to get a red card from a ref—as a spectator—she wasn’t even playing the game. She was and will always be intelligent, hardworking and beautiful. She was a prankster, a cheerleader, an athlete, a good student, a devoted sister and a wonderful daughter. And, she made good choices growing up—she didn't have time to waste.

She met our dad, Keith, on a blind date. His cousin set them up. They kept telling her that this was the man she was going to marry. She quickly agreed and bought her wedding dress the very next weekend. My dad says he fell in love with her red short shorts first, which he teased her incessantly about.

I say this lovingly, they were the most stubborn people—a genetic trait we children all inherited. Despite both of their extremely independent constitutions, they made it work. She and my father built a successful family and business together.

Mom got to be a mom. In a world where stay-at-home-mothers can be belittled, she reveled in her role. Her dreams were fulfilled through the sacred calling of motherhood. She wanted to be a wife and a mother. She accomplished that goal. She married my father for “Time and All Eternity” in the Idaho Falls Temple on a beautiful Fall day in 1979. She knew that every child born to her and her husband could be with her in the next life. We believe in forever, not just “till death do us part.” No, my mom will always be my mother, here and in the next life, hand-in-hand with dad. She told me once that she did not just believe it, she knew it, and would never doubt that her family would be united in the eternities. We know that families can be together forever.

When my father died seven years ago, my mother became a widow in an instant. She was 45-years-old and was immediately faced with the decision to either crumble under the burden or to stand tall and push forward. We all know she chose the latter. She bore that trial like a champ or as Brett would say, “like a boss.”

Since dad passed, she has had all of her children enter the temple, had another daughter get married, sent two boys off to school and the same two boys off on LDS missions. She also became a grandma three and a half times [Jennifer has a little boy due in the Fall].

I know that dad has been there rooting her on and helping her every step of the way. I can only imagine how proud he is of her because of how proud we all are of her.

In September 2010, mom was diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. Jacob had just left on his mission, Jennifer and her girls were living with mom while her husband Todd was on a year-long tour in Afghanistan, Brett was off at school and Kelsey was her ever-constant companion at home here in Spokane. France and I had just discovered we were expecting our first child. What a wonderful snapshot of life. How quickly everything changed.

Within days, mom was in the hospital having brain surgery. The doctors confirmed my worst fears just hours later. The tumor was aggressive. It was cancer. When mom woke up a little while later, I sat alone with her in the room and held her hand. We were in the ICU together, it was, somehow, peaceful. I stroked her face and we smiled. I told her that it was what we thought—it was cancer. She simply nodded her head. She asked, “What do we do next?” “We fight mom.” I replied. She quietly repeated those words, "We fight".

My mom fought. She often told me it was the hardest thing she has ever had to do. The side effects of chemo are ugly: life prolonging, but difficult. Despite it all, we had a beautiful year with her. We became fast friends with the cancer care staff and they often told me how my mother was such a light, such a joy, that she was a gift to them. We felt the same about them. You would often hear her telling the staff "Thank you for coming to work today to take care of me.” My goodness, her attitude was infectious.

Why would we ask her to fight? Because! There is always hope for a miracle. We had great hope for a reason. It got us up in the morning. It helped us sleep at night. We had many wonderful days and definitely some dark ones. In those moments, we would have to regroup and count our blessings and remember to have joy. We are on this earth to have joy and we had many blessings to count.

Throughout these last 20 months, her dearest friends went above and beyond to help our dear Sheri when I would go home for a few days to be with my husband. Her parents were by her side as often as possible. We had the help we needed. What a blessing.

I went home to my sweet husband, France, when I was nearly nine months pregnant. When our little Samuel was born, he brought with him such a light, much the same-way Jennifer's daughter, Evelyn, did after dad passed away which, by the way, Evie wanted me to mention that she really loves Gramma Sheri.

I am so thankful for a mom who instilled the confidence in me that I needed to help bring a little person into this world. Five weeks later, I was back on a plane to Spokane, back to mom with a baby in tow, my husband supporting us every step of the way.

Mom and I and her kids held onto hope and prayed for a miracle. We knew she could be healed, we just knew it. Our Heavenly Father knew it, too. He could have easily taken this burden from her. But we slowly realized, over time, through the quiet whisperings from heaven, that it was not in the plan. We were being prepared to accept what was to come. There was a point this last winter where we were just plugging along, keeping the faith and discovering all the miracles that we were already receiving.

The week that our little Sam learned to crawl, mom was rushed to the ER with many sudden complications. We thought we were going to lose her that night. It was such a turn of events for my family. All night we prayed, “Please spare this woman's life.” Our prayers were answered. She came home. It was then that we began to start acknowledging that mom would be made whole again and be free, just not in the way we most wanted. After talking with my siblings and sharing with them my feelings, we each agreed. The miracle we wanted was not the one we were going to get. We had done the one thing we thought we never could, we crossed over. The battle no longer was about winning, it was about enduring. As I mentioned earlier, we had been prepared. Our mindsets changed, mom's too.

We spent the next few months simply loving her and learning with her. We had her move in with us in Idaho so I could take 24-hour care of her. It was a great honor. Mom, and I, and France and Barbara, her caretaker and friend who lived next to me in Idaho, witnessed the most amazing example of endurance and faith every day. Mom never wavered in her faith, she knew that God would keep her close till he brought her home to Him.

We prayed together as a family daily, France, and I and mom taking turns. She prayed for each of her children to make the right choices and to find peace. She prayed for the medical staff, for her friends, for her parents for her siblings, for anyone she knew needed a little help from heaven.

What an example she will continue to be to all of us. Our little Sam got to spend a few precious months with his Gramma Sheri. Those two were buddies. He knew her voice. She was too weak to hold him and somehow he knew it so he would lean into her from my arms and hug her for just a moment. He had a specific Gramma Sheri smile that he gave only to her and she had one for him. As we watched Sam progress and grow in his first year of life, we watched mom slow down in her last. Heavenly Father has given our family a visible example of the circle of life. The day my mother stopped walking was the day that Sammy took his first steps. My gratitude to my Heavenly Father and my Savior for this tender mercy of understanding will never be forgotten.

A few short weeks ago, we brought her home to Spokane—this is her home. You all are home to her. Mom was doing much worse and her body grew weaker by the day. We decided to stop chemo, we had reached that point where her fight was coming to an end. It was time to let her go and we could not have done it without constant support from you and from our Heavenly Father.

She was not scared to die. She fought a good fight. She endured to the end. She knew her Father in Heaven had accepted her life's work. I can only hope that her example, for even just a moment, can touch each of our hearts. She understood life—all she ever wanted was to share that understanding with all of us. Through it, she found joy.

Our Family has been the recipient of continual service for over 20 months—well, seven years, really. A friend told me, your mom has served others for over 50 years, this was her turn to learn how to accept it. A lesson, as you know, she found most difficult.

Our Father in Heaven answered our prayers. We told her to go with dad when he came to get her. The first time I told her that, she nodded and quietly replied, “I just might.” She was gone in just over two weeks. My mother is a warrior. She is with dad. They are together. She did it—she endured to the end. She came into this life the same way she left it, premature. She has business elsewhere.

We her children are honored to carry on our parent’s legacy of faith, they expect nothing less. We miss them terribly, but don't worry, we'll be with them again.

To close, I am going to share with you one of my mother’s favorite quotes, I took the liberty of tweaking it just a bit.

“It is always surprising how small a part of life is taken up by meaningful moments. Most often they are over before they start although they cast a light on the future and make the person who originated them unforgettable. Mom has shined such a light on us all."

We will be fine, we have indeed been taught.

We miss you mom. We love you. We will be together again.

*I mentioned at the beginning of my talk, shortly after my sister Jennifer played a beautiful piano piece, “Until the Last Moment,” how even though Jennifer had to be far away in Georgia the majority of mom’s illness, I couldn’t have done a single day without her. We burned up the phone lines and video chat bandwidth. She was my sounding board and my constant support. Jennifer had done the impossible she had supported mom and I in every facet from thousands of miles away.

Eulogy- Tami Winston

Here is the first of the three talks that were given at mom's funeral that I will be posting. This was given by Tami Winston; her neighbor, friend, coworker and by all accounts and purposes her other 'sister'. We thank her for her kind words and picture perfect description of our dear mom.

I am the fly on the wall, the mouse in the corner, or as Sheri might have teased me, the elephant in the room! I have worked in the Birds home, as the office manager for their business for over 11 years and for most of that time have been their next-door neighbors, as well. What started out as location, location, location, became one of our family’s choicest blessings.

You’d think we would run out of things to talk about, but amazingly we never did. I can’t tell you the number of times the business phone would ring and we’d say accusingly to the ringing phone – don’t you know we’re having a serious discussion here!! Even after the workday was over, we’d go for walks or have emergency pow wow sessions. Borrowing a cup of sugar could take all evening. Sometimes we would actually talk business, but mostly we solved the world’s problems and shared questions and insights on life, family, and the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Many of our discussions focused on the purpose of life, death and the plan of salvation. After Keith’s accident, I was often asked, “How is Sheri doing?” I generally replied, “She makes a conscious decision every morning to be happy.” Because that is what she did. She chose to be happy. This usually prompted a follow up question of – But how is she REALLY doing. I simply added, “She has great faith.” I later told Sheri how uncomfortable I was with this “simple” answer. I realized that it was difficult to explain how Sheri was doing without explaining the entire plan of Salvation. Not only did she choose to be happy, she chose the Lord’s plan of happiness. Sheri knew that “Joy is not the absence of pain, but the presence of God.”

She allowed the power of the atonement to comfort her and the Holy Ghost to be her guide. She not only believed IN Christ, but she believed Christ. She prayed continually over her flocks and fields. Her burdens were not lightened, but the Lord strengthened her. I am amazed at the capabilities and capacities she developed in the competing realms of business, family, and church callings. Sheri once shared this quote with me.

“Only when we turn our lives over to the Savior do we receive that which cannot be taken from us. With our hearts and heads riveted on Him, the Savior’s grace makes us equal to whatever He commands. With His enabling power, we receive the peace of the Spirit and strength beyond our natural abilities to do and be whatever he asks.”

THIS is what made Sheri strong. THIS is what made Sheri happy. She lived her life, not with the attitude of questioning “Why Me?”, but with the quiet conviction of “Why not Me?” She once told me that as painful as many of her life’s experiences had been, she wouldn’t trade the knowledge she had gained about herself, or the especially the relationship she had developed with her Heavenly Father. “Don’t get me wrong,” she said, “If Keith were to walk through that door right now I would be thrilled beyond measure - but I am so grateful for the things I have learned.”

Sheri often jokingly referred to she and I as “two half brains,” but when it came to her heart, I know hers was double or triple in size. I started thinking about some of the things she loved and thought I would share them with you.

Sheri loved to cook. And she was good at it. She could whip out a quadruple batch of sugar cookies in no time at all. Her chocolate chip cookies were the ones that always turned out perfectly – except for the ones she especially burned for Brent McLaws. When there was butter left out in a bowl for a day or two we knew cookies were in the making.

Sheri was a cupcake snob. My family has enjoyed dozens and dozens and dozens of cast offs as she tried recipe after recipe in her quest for the perfect cupcake. She loved chocolate covered strawberries, and it didn’t matter if they were for a wedding reception or just for the kids, she carefully dipped and drizzled them into masterful creations. Her raspberry tart and white fudge are legendary. She was also a very MESSY cook. I would watch her mix up a batch of frosting and she would be oblivious to the powdered sugar flying everywhere. She liked food HER way. Even a cheap McDonald’s hamburger had to be special ordered, and dressing for a salad was ALWAYS served on the side.

In another life she might have been a chef - or a nurse, or a waitress. She was fascinated by all things medical and we sometimes dubbed her Dr. Bird for her extensive knowledge and experience. Who else do you know that had to have rabies shots because of a wayward bat? She loved being a waitress. I think this came from her innate desire to serve others.

Many of you have shared stories of Sheri’s personal service to you in times of sickness, sorrow, or sadness. It wasn’t something she did, it was who she was.

Sheri loved Music. Her prevailing favorite was basically anything that Jennifer or Jake was playing on the piano. She loved to hear them practice and play and perform. She owned every Keith Urban CD as well as the Tabernacle Choir. She would harmonize along with anything – and she had that little dance her kids would imitate. I can never hear the EFY medley sung without seeing the joy in her face as she directed the youth choir. And I can never wear short sleeves while directing a choir because we always used to joke about flabby arms jiggling. In fact, I directed the music at Keith’s funeral and I looked down at Sheri and she was impishly rubbing her arm. Her way of handling most anything was with an amazing sense of humor. 

Sheri enjoyed her femininity. Her ideal camping experience included porcelain toilets, indoor plumbing and a hair dryer. As long as her bangs were perfect, it was a good day. Sheri loved the colors pink and red. Pink roses were her very favorite.  If you looked in her closet, or in her flower garden, the color scheme was the same. Notice what color her children are wearing to honor her today. AND the reason why the guys are wearing pink ties, specifically at Sheri’s request, is so Brent McLaws would HAVE to wear pink. Sheri got the last laugh.

Sheri loved movies. Her favorites, of course, were the ones Brett made and the ones Lindsay was in. She loved going to the movie theater with family, friends, and even by herself. Her favorite movies included, “You’ve Got Mail”, every version of “Pride and Prejudice”, and anything with Sandra Bullock or Hugh Jackman in it. Bird family conversation is peppered with movie quotes and sometimes entire scenes, with appropriate accents, of course.

Sheri loved to teach. She taught youth Sunday School and Young Women’s for a zillion years. She would often sit on the table, swinging her legs, snapping her gum - and sharing her unshakable testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. She had a special connection to the youth. They loved her – but she loved them more. She was a role model to so many – she’s the one they want to be like when they grow up. She made them all feel that they were her very special favorite. And they were. Each one of them. She often shared that the most important thing she wanted the youth to know was that they were children of a loving Heavenly Father and when they understood that, everything else would fall into place.

Hours after Keith’s passing a close friend asked Sheri how her children were. Her answer was so profound that I wrote it on a sticky note that still hangs in my office. “They’ll be fine. They know. They’ve been taught.”

She loved to study the scriptures. Her study materials were always spread across her bed. I think she actually slept with them! She loved preparing lessons because of the study opportunities it brought. She felt a special kinship to Brigham Young and was convinced she knew him well in the pre-earth life. And she appreciated Elder Bednar’s talk on “tender mercies of the Lord” because she recognized so many “tender mercies” in her own life.

Her favorite places on the earth were the temple, Disneyland, the Amalfi  Coast of Italy… and Costco on Saturday morning. She loved the peace and serenity of the temple and went there often. It was fun to go to the temple with Sheri and her joy was contagious. I lost count of the number of times she went to Disneyland but lets just say she could be a Disney consultant.  Her trip to Italy with Lindsay was the dream of a lifetime and …Costco was, well Costco. I never figured that one out…

…Except that she loved people. If you ever went anywhere with her, it seemed she knew everybody. Her vivacious personality and interest in others endeared her to many. Store clerks, bank tellers, nurses, mechanics, pizza delivery people, all knew her by name. And she knew theirs, and their spouses, and their families. I know so many of you – not necessarily by personal acquaintance, but by personal interaction with Sheri. She felt there were no coincidences when it came to the people who shared her life.

She loved our neighborhood. Many times after visiting with one of our neighbors in the cul-de-sac, she’d come in the house and say. We are so lucky. We have the best neighbors in the whole world. And we do.

She loved her employees. Which might be a really awkward description for most bosses, but not for Sheri. They were her guys. She fondly called them Joe-y and Craig-y and well, just Eldon. She loved their stories –  and being in the drain and sewer business, we have some really good ones. She wanted them to be successful and to provide well for their families. She prayed for them constantly, that they would make good choices in their personal lives - and was there for them in their challenges. She was the best boss, ever.

Whenever my dad called he would always ask “How’s our girl” I knew, of course, that OUR girl, referred to Sheri. Like many of you, we considered Sheri “our” own. She was an honorary member of many of our families. A “second mom”, “like a sister”, or an “adopted daughter”. Thank you Gay and Larry for sharing your daughter with us and for shaping the woman she was to become.

Sheri LOVED her family. Her mom Gay, who she always called the BEST mother in the world, and her husband Chuck, who cares for and loves her mother; She loved her dad Larry and his wife Marilyn. She loved her sisters Penny and Lori and was always so concerned about them and her favorite brother Charlie. Sheri was so grateful to her mother in law for raising her son Keith in truth and righteousness - and LaVerne, you probably always knew it was Sheri behind the special thoughts and gifts on holidays and special occasions.

Sheri loved her sons in law, Todd and France. She said she never wanted another family picture with just her five children, because when her daughters married them, they became her sons.

Sheri loved her three and a half grandchildren, Evie, Sienna, and Sammmy. They brought so much joy into her life. She loved being grandma-in-a-box on Skype, but couldn’t wait to hug ‘em and love ‘em in person.

Sheri loved Kelsey, totally and unconditionally. She was his greatest advocate. She felt blessed to be his mother. Kelsie became the man of the house, her stand-in date and movie partner.

Sheri loved Jennifer. She described her as her tall, poised, elegant daughter. If you needed someone in your corner, you turned to Jen - always late, but totally reliable. Sheri considered her the best listener and the best ooh-er and ahh-er.

Sheri loved Lindsay. We both lived vicariously through Lindsay’s adventures. They were more than shopping buddies, they were best friends. When Lindsay is around, life is a party. Who else had the spunk and stamina to care so lovingly for her mother?

Sheri loved Brett - her rock and her protector. He could do no wrong. She always knew that her “Bretty” was going to be stalwart and successful. No question about it. and she never worried about his testimony or the choices he would make.

She loved her Jakee - Her most tenderhearted son. Elder Bird is exactly where Sheri wanted him – on a mission in Arizona. She felt her time with him was cut short, and maybe that was why she felt that need to spoil him. He was her little miracle and that was never far from her mind. She told Lindsay, “I’m not scared to die, I’m not scared to go, but I can’t leave my Jakey. So please take care of him.”

Finally, she loved her husband Keith, her eternal sweetheart. The city girl and the country boy made an amazing duo. The sorrow of OUR loss is tempered by the joy in THEIR reunion.

In closing I would like to paraphrase the words of a song that perfectly describe not who Sheri WAS, but who Sheri IS, for I know I will see her again… for “that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory.”

 “Woman of wisdom, teacher of truth, keeper of covenants, guardian of good, partner in promise, seeking eternal treasures, woman of Christ, Daughter of God”  (Tammy Robinson, Who We Are).

Funeral Details

Hello Friends and Family,

Here is some information that we have posted on facebook for our family and are adding to mom's blog as well for everyone who would like to know the more details about mom's and the funeral and what not.

• Mom passed away Sunday April, 29th before midnight. She was surrounded by family and loved ones and died peacefully.

• Her obituary ran in today's (Wednesday) Spokesman Review (can be found online as well) and also on this past Sunday's paper (the paper accidentally forgot her picture on Sunday, but added it back in on Wednesday.
  

• A viewing is planned to be held from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. Friday, May 11th, at Heritage Funeral Home, 508 North Government Way Spokane, WA 99224.

• Funeral services will be held at 1 p.m. Saturday, May 12th at The Spokane North Stake Center located at: 401 W Regina Ave. Spokane, WA 99208. Burial to follow at Greenwood Memorial Terrace.

Thanks again for all of your prayers, your love and support throughout this trial. We are so grateful for all of you.

Love,
Jen

Our dear mom, Sheri Bird, passed away peacefully last night. 

She is with dad. 

What a pair. 

Thank you for all your prayers.

The Nitty Gritty

(Easter Sunday. Mom has been on steroids for a while and that makes her puffy, yes she looks different, but that's the look of a warrior! :)

In an effort to make it through this post I will be as clinical as possible.

Okay, so when a person is on chemo, they are usually on it for a few weeks at a time. I have been told by medical professionals that chemo is just the nastiest stuff, many call it poison. Mom has been on chemo for 18 months. It has taken it's toll on her body. It is no longer helping and is now detrimental. She made the decision to go off of treatment during General Conference weekend. When we informed the doctors of her decision they were glad we came to that conclusion on our own first, it was going to be their recommendation we go off anyway.

So, mom went off treatment. She was lucid when she made this decision. What does that mean you ask?

It means that mom's body cannot keep up with her fightin' spirit anymore. Her cute little body is starting to fail her.

So, Elder Bird got to fly home for a 3 day pass from his mission (his mission president is an amazing man). Jacob got to come and hug and love and see and help (we all got to be together on Easter Sunday, not a coincidence!). He is safely back in Tucson and has peace. He now understands as he had the tangible experience he needed. It doesn't make it easier, but a little understanding goes a long way.

Okay, that's all for now.

Let's review:

Mom's off chemo, it was her choice.
Jacob got to see her.
All her kids were together on Easter Sunday.

Oh yeah, we moved back to Spokane yesterday. We are here at home, right where she wanted to be.

I can't give you a when, but it could be very soon, or a few months. Nobody but her Father in Heaven knows, thank goodness we know where she is going next.

Just know, we never gave up the fight, but you just can't win 'em all.

Thank you for your help and your prayers. We still need them. This is hard, but it is an honor to take care of this beautiful and amazing woman.

Spring Catch Up!

This is a letter I wrote to Elder Jacob Bird, my younger brother, who is currently serving a full-time mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I thought I would post it here, which is not something I normally would do. It's a good summary of the last few weeks. If bits and pieces are confusing, oh well. :) Jake and I usually write a lot less formally, but there is always a time and a place huh?

Thanks for hanging in there with us. My family loves all of you.


Hello! It's Monday! March 26th!

Crazy huh!? It's been 7 years since dad checked out. That's a crass way to put it. :) You have been such a stud dealing with all of it. I just want you to know how impressed I am with the young man you have become. Technically, I should say impressed with the man you have become. You graduated high school with a great transcript, got into BYU, are currently serving a honorable mission and you are dealing with a sick mom at home and YOU are teaching and changing so many lives around you. Your mission president thinks the world of you and so do France and I and the rest of your family. Grandma and Papa think you are awesome and the whole Bird family cannot wait to hear all about your mission when you get home this August. We are even going to have a get together where you talk about your mish and I am gonna make you perform the song you wrote (if I don't, Grandma Bird will!).

So lemme catch you up on the last few weeks!
Sam and I went to ORLANDO with the Coopers and went to Disneyworld. Her and I were talking on video chat and she asked me if I wanted to go thinking that I would say no. Well I didn't, and less than a week later he and I were on a plane to Florida. Sammy had a flu and had major diarrhea the WHOLE time and I had a sinus infection, but we made it. He threw up on me three times during the flight and COVERED me. HA! He also had diarrhea'd on me on It's a Small World. Yuck! He loved Pirates of the Caribbean tho! I'll send you some pics!

So I got to spend my Birthday (I'm 27!) with Jen and Todd in Savannah and then we drove up to Charleston to sight see for a few days. Sammy is a little traveler.

Brent was released as Bishop yesterday. He will be missed, what more can I say. He looks forward to serving with the young men of the Stake in a new calling. Bishop Todd Rogers has a nice ring to it huh? :)

Mom has been doing so great this last month and enjoyed having grandma and papa take care of her so I could have a break. Mom is a lot of work these days. It's not easy, but I love her and would do anything for her, we all would and we have had so many helping hands along the way from our home ward, from family and from our Mountain Home ward that I have simply lost count. Service is much easier to give than receive huh? It takes a lot of humility to ask for help, something that I have had to learn. We have needed the help and still do. We have so many people to thank.

We ended up in the ER yesterday, Mom was pretty dehydrated. Paula and Kennon stopped by and Kennon helped France give mom a Priesthood blessing. Heavenly Father wanted her to know that he is asking her to endure a little longer, that she is still teaching all of us.

Jake, I was very worried yesterday. I nearly called the mission president to put him on alert. I hesitated and it was the right thing to do. She is home with us today, she doesn't remember a thing from yesterday. She's not remembering much lately. She is also not eating or drinking very well either. These are not good signs. Please continue to work hard and pray hard. Elder Bird, you teach the plan of Salvation everyday, but you are also living it. YOU live it every moment. I don't know what the next week will bring. I don't know if this weekend was just a hiccup in her health or a sign of things to come. I will keep the mission office informed if there is any change. I still think we have a little while. I will let you know. Will you write her a little Jakey love note to her? She loves hearing from you, we all do. We are here for you, we admire you, we absolutely love and adore you.

Talk to you soon.
Love, Lindsay

PS From Mom "Love you Gordon, keep up the good work."

It is a good work you're doing Jacob, the best.

Ah, life. :)

Hello everyone. I promised to update soon. Please count this as soon!

Since October's Gamma Knife procedure things have changed somewhat. The gamma was successful in removing a good portion of regrowth, which is amazing. The MRI looked great. Whew.

So here's some info.
Mom ends up in the ER for various things and after mimicking a stroke before Christmas we found her there yet again. Her amazing friend (and nurse!) Debbie had helped us out all day and was at the house and was able to get her into the car and get her to the ER quickly (with our amazing neighbors following). I stayed home. I couldn't do it that night. I stayed home with Sam and Kels and prayed. Kira ran over to help with Sam as I arranged a plane ticket for France to come on the next flight. We didn't know what would happen that night. It was humbling, frightening and truthfully, very scary.
Thankfully, she had not had a stroke but her brain had swollen from stress and caused the left side of her face to fall. They took an MRI on that December day and her tumor had NOT progressed. Whew.
During those weeks following gamma knife which happened to be Christmas break, my family was busy preparing for my mom to receive 24 hour care, at our house, in Idaho. Her doctors told us it was time to keep an eye on her around the clock. Our family had that confirmed to us all through the quite whisperings of the spirit. It was not a difficult decision to make and mom agreed, knowing it was the right thing to do.
She is here with us now. Enjoying Sammy's smiles and all the love we can give here. Family and friends are visiting constantly and we welcome the company. France and I even went on a date last week (so important we are finding out)! Our amazing ward here has jumped in and brought food and friendship. Her visiting teachers are stopping in as well as anyone else that gets wind of the new sister in the ward. I love that about my faith, wherever we go, we will always have a new huge ward family to welcome us in. We are never alone.

I just want you all to know, we have the business taken care of, we have Kelsey taken care of. Elder Bird in Arizona is up to date on mom and those two have been able to see each other on video chat. Heavenly Father truly is looking out for us. Mom is having a hard time adjusting to being away from the home she has lived in for so long. It seems as if our whole lives are wrapped up in Spokane and to ask her to walk away has been extremely challenging. Life is a funny thing.

I just want to take up some space on this blog to bear my testimony of life. We are here because we chose to come. We chose to come to this beautiful earth and experience joy and pain. To love, to hurt. To know true happiness. To have families. To learn to crawl, walk, run and then slow down again as our time comes to a close. This life is but a moment in the scheme of things. I know that for a fact. I lived before and I will live again. As much as I don't want to let mom go, my dad will be there to welcome her home. She may not be there at graduation for my brothers, she may not meet the women of their dreams and tell them how handsome they look and how lucky they are at the Temple on their wedding days and she may not be there to hold our babies when they come. But she will hand those babies to us. Grandma and grandpa get to teach them and be with them before, help prepare them for this incredible experience. They will be there for us, all around us.
I am full of gratitude to my Savior for helping me understand that life is to be lived and to fill our time here with good works and love and joy. Life is not to be wasted wandering in paths we know can be harmful to ourselves and others. Why waste such precious time? I know that Jesus is the Christ and through him I will live again. I will be with my family again. You too. :)

The doctors have not given up on her. She is still fighting. We know that her being alive today is a miracle already considering what she has been through. She is smiling and fighting. She is eating. She is balding! She is happy. She loves the little hugs and kisses she gets from Sam. She loves hearing letters from Jake, video chatting with her beautiful granddaughters in Georgia and her son in Spokane and spending time watching movies with Brett when he visits. We love her.

For those caretakers and family members out there who have gone through this or are currently enduring, our hearts go out to you, we think of you and pray for you too. Cancer is ugly, but life is beautiful isn't it? Mom's time on this earth may be coming to a close sooner than we thought, but boy has she lived and she's sticking around for while. Come visit. :)

John 14:27 ^aPeace I leave with you, my ^bpeace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be ^ctroubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27

Love, Lindsay


PS, what timing for this message. I love the Mormon Messages. LOVE them.