Tithing/fast offerings/gratitude

With five days of radiation, you get the weekends off. (you still take all your many RX'S but its basically a weekend pass from as I lovingly call it :being fried" And then you start up again on Monday. Last weekend was hard, but I think It it was just the unknown. I am grateful for the blessings from the Lord to help me recognize when I need to pay attention, slow down, drink more water, all body stuff.

This is my first attempt to write on this blog, I must admit I was one to never like the lime light...and a little embarrassed when I found that the girls had done this, but they said it has helped to answer and update family and then they basically said, we did it...end of discussion.
Jennifer and her girls are now happily moved to Georgia and Lindsay my nurse, right arm women, amazingly has been blessed to be here we me. Thanks girls..I love you.

I had a neat experience this week, too many to tell, but one sticks out and I felt impressed to write it down.

I have always been a tithing payer-will a man rob God? I admit when I was a teenager it was when I got around to it. As a young married, I always paid at the end of the month, never knew any difference, knew it to be a commandment, knew it to be the right thing to do. Commandment, you need to to get your Temple recommend, but probably never really had studied it, It Just a check mark on the oil lamp "its just what you do stick"

At my tithing settlement about two years ago my Bishop asked me about my fast offering and wanted to know if I thought I was paying a generous fast offering? I did not know what a generous one was as my husband as my dear husband had always taken care of that side of our finances and I just paid it.And at this point in my life I was still in the "widow" mind of snow tires, furnace needs fixed, sprinklers need blown out...kids on missions (I call it the trying to find the balance of being a Mom/Dad syndrome. Of all the things I wish Keith had compiled for me before he passed away, he forgot one thing...."COULD YOU HAVE AT LEAST LEFT ME A MAP OF THE SPRINKLER SYSTEM?" I may use that for a book someday.

Put your seat belts on kids, this is a long one. I may be banned from writing after the girls see this.

Back to tithing~So the Bishop made a few suggestions and then asked me to pray about it and I would know what to do. Seemed easy enough. I prayed, thought about it and followed his council. Again....check mark.

About 6 months to a year ago I had felt an extra need in my life to get very close to the Lord. Really close. I had the impression that I was going to need him more then ever. I was not scared, but it was an uneasy feeling that would not pass.

So, I sat down one night and said, what can I do to come closer to the Lord? I read a book called personal promises from the Lord to you. The continuous atonement, Hearing the voice of the Lord....and then one day in my chats to my Bishop...he kinda rolled his eyes and he can only do to me and said "read your scriptures and say your prayers every day, go to the Temple once a week and increase your fast offering" EASY divine answer.

So that it what I did, every week, every day without fail. No excuse. I could physically feel the blessings of the Temple, I was learning alot about the scriptures and setting my alarm and getting up became very easy. Things were well, but something was not there and I could not figure it out. Then it hit me...tithing...I was paying it at the end of the month along with all my other bills and just maybe my "generous fast" was not as "generous" as I had thought.

I again petitioned the Lord for guidance and asked what should I do? I was asked if I had enough faith to pay my tithing "Before" I even had the money in my account from my business? and then again up my fast offering.

Always paid, but BEFORE the check arrived. No questions, it was from the Lord. I can do hard things...DONE, only not a check mark this time, a humble thank you for trusting me with this and adding a little more faith into my life.
Now every fast day, at the beginning of the month, before I get paid, it gets written and its gone. I did it with no expectations, I don't do it and then say bless me, or I need... I promise you it is out of obedience and it felt right.

After you go through all this surgery, chemo, radiation etc. Then Cancer care NW (is amazing by the way if you ever get cancer) I cannot tell you how amazing they are)
but back to story;
I was filed into an office for "Patient advocate" advice on RX, health insurance and what kind of state assistance I would need to pay for my very expensive medication and clinic visits for the next year. Most people end up on state assistance because of cost.
I take a cocktail of Chemo drugs and just to shock you...one of the pills for 24 days cost $6000.00. REALLY. I am fortunate that even though we raised the insurance deductable in my business to save a little money in the long run, I pay $120.00 for that.
I asked the asked the advocate approximately how much would be out of pocket this year for me with all the MRI's, Medications, etc. She penciled and calculated and then gave me an approx.

On the way home from Treatment, Lindsay looked at me and said "Mom, do you realize you are seeing the blessings of tithing, but most importantly a Generous Fast offering" I burst out bawling like a baby....I was prompted, I obeyed without reservation and did it without expecting a thing....it was just the right thing to do.
I will be able to pay my bills with peace in my heart and not have this stress added upon.

Bishop Mclaws was doing his Friday night ward visits and he stopped by and we read the in "Old testament people" Malachi 8-12. Especially pay attention to vs. 10-11 I think that we fail to read on in to.

8 ¶ ^aWill a man ^brob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In ^ctithes and offerings.

9 Ye are ^acursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation.

10 Bring ye all the ^atithes into the storehouse, that there may be ^bmeat in mine house, and ^cprove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not ^dopen you the ^ewindows of heaven, and pour you out a ^fblessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

11 And I will ^arebuke the ^bdevourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the Lord of hosts.

12 And all nations shall call you blessed: for ye shall be a delightsome land, saith the Lord of hosts.

This is fast and testimony weekend. Have the faith to pay a "GENEROUS" fast offering. Pay it even if it your last 20 bucks or 100, or 500. Have EXCEEDING faith to do what the Lord has asked you to do. What would be holding you back and why? Its the Lord's money anyway, what you have including the very breath that you breath comes from him anyway. Trust him and trust him enough to allow him to help you. Remember D&C 130 20 There is a ^alaw, irrevocably decreed in ^bheaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all ^cblessings are predicated—

21 And when we obtain any ^ablessing from God, it is by ^bobedience to that law upon which it is predicated.

Going out to dinner is fun, seeing that movie would be fun..but if you haven't paid your fast offering, that is all it will be....fun....not eternal nor everlasting.

Thank you for reading. I am usually not one to preach because of my MANY beams/motes etc in my own eyes. But felt impressed that this should be written down.

Thank you for all your notes of love, flowers,etc.I wish I could personally thank each of you and tell you how much your friendship and love has meant to me. When Keith died I felt bad because we got all fed and such nice notes of love and he could not enjoy them or read them. I on the other hand have been uplifted by the notes and love because I do get to read them!
So Thank you!
People ask what can I do? Not really a whole lot, It's the Lord and my battle now...I have awesome help and great friends who can drive and a daughter who is living here for awhile.
But, I do humbly ask for your prayers...miracles are wrought through prayer.

Make it a good week-there is so much to live for!

xoxoxo~Sheri