Eulogy- Tami Winston

Here is the first of the three talks that were given at mom's funeral that I will be posting. This was given by Tami Winston; her neighbor, friend, coworker and by all accounts and purposes her other 'sister'. We thank her for her kind words and picture perfect description of our dear mom.

I am the fly on the wall, the mouse in the corner, or as Sheri might have teased me, the elephant in the room! I have worked in the Birds home, as the office manager for their business for over 11 years and for most of that time have been their next-door neighbors, as well. What started out as location, location, location, became one of our family’s choicest blessings.

You’d think we would run out of things to talk about, but amazingly we never did. I can’t tell you the number of times the business phone would ring and we’d say accusingly to the ringing phone – don’t you know we’re having a serious discussion here!! Even after the workday was over, we’d go for walks or have emergency pow wow sessions. Borrowing a cup of sugar could take all evening. Sometimes we would actually talk business, but mostly we solved the world’s problems and shared questions and insights on life, family, and the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Many of our discussions focused on the purpose of life, death and the plan of salvation. After Keith’s accident, I was often asked, “How is Sheri doing?” I generally replied, “She makes a conscious decision every morning to be happy.” Because that is what she did. She chose to be happy. This usually prompted a follow up question of – But how is she REALLY doing. I simply added, “She has great faith.” I later told Sheri how uncomfortable I was with this “simple” answer. I realized that it was difficult to explain how Sheri was doing without explaining the entire plan of Salvation. Not only did she choose to be happy, she chose the Lord’s plan of happiness. Sheri knew that “Joy is not the absence of pain, but the presence of God.”

She allowed the power of the atonement to comfort her and the Holy Ghost to be her guide. She not only believed IN Christ, but she believed Christ. She prayed continually over her flocks and fields. Her burdens were not lightened, but the Lord strengthened her. I am amazed at the capabilities and capacities she developed in the competing realms of business, family, and church callings. Sheri once shared this quote with me.

“Only when we turn our lives over to the Savior do we receive that which cannot be taken from us. With our hearts and heads riveted on Him, the Savior’s grace makes us equal to whatever He commands. With His enabling power, we receive the peace of the Spirit and strength beyond our natural abilities to do and be whatever he asks.”

THIS is what made Sheri strong. THIS is what made Sheri happy. She lived her life, not with the attitude of questioning “Why Me?”, but with the quiet conviction of “Why not Me?” She once told me that as painful as many of her life’s experiences had been, she wouldn’t trade the knowledge she had gained about herself, or the especially the relationship she had developed with her Heavenly Father. “Don’t get me wrong,” she said, “If Keith were to walk through that door right now I would be thrilled beyond measure - but I am so grateful for the things I have learned.”

Sheri often jokingly referred to she and I as “two half brains,” but when it came to her heart, I know hers was double or triple in size. I started thinking about some of the things she loved and thought I would share them with you.

Sheri loved to cook. And she was good at it. She could whip out a quadruple batch of sugar cookies in no time at all. Her chocolate chip cookies were the ones that always turned out perfectly – except for the ones she especially burned for Brent McLaws. When there was butter left out in a bowl for a day or two we knew cookies were in the making.

Sheri was a cupcake snob. My family has enjoyed dozens and dozens and dozens of cast offs as she tried recipe after recipe in her quest for the perfect cupcake. She loved chocolate covered strawberries, and it didn’t matter if they were for a wedding reception or just for the kids, she carefully dipped and drizzled them into masterful creations. Her raspberry tart and white fudge are legendary. She was also a very MESSY cook. I would watch her mix up a batch of frosting and she would be oblivious to the powdered sugar flying everywhere. She liked food HER way. Even a cheap McDonald’s hamburger had to be special ordered, and dressing for a salad was ALWAYS served on the side.

In another life she might have been a chef - or a nurse, or a waitress. She was fascinated by all things medical and we sometimes dubbed her Dr. Bird for her extensive knowledge and experience. Who else do you know that had to have rabies shots because of a wayward bat? She loved being a waitress. I think this came from her innate desire to serve others.

Many of you have shared stories of Sheri’s personal service to you in times of sickness, sorrow, or sadness. It wasn’t something she did, it was who she was.

Sheri loved Music. Her prevailing favorite was basically anything that Jennifer or Jake was playing on the piano. She loved to hear them practice and play and perform. She owned every Keith Urban CD as well as the Tabernacle Choir. She would harmonize along with anything – and she had that little dance her kids would imitate. I can never hear the EFY medley sung without seeing the joy in her face as she directed the youth choir. And I can never wear short sleeves while directing a choir because we always used to joke about flabby arms jiggling. In fact, I directed the music at Keith’s funeral and I looked down at Sheri and she was impishly rubbing her arm. Her way of handling most anything was with an amazing sense of humor. 

Sheri enjoyed her femininity. Her ideal camping experience included porcelain toilets, indoor plumbing and a hair dryer. As long as her bangs were perfect, it was a good day. Sheri loved the colors pink and red. Pink roses were her very favorite.  If you looked in her closet, or in her flower garden, the color scheme was the same. Notice what color her children are wearing to honor her today. AND the reason why the guys are wearing pink ties, specifically at Sheri’s request, is so Brent McLaws would HAVE to wear pink. Sheri got the last laugh.

Sheri loved movies. Her favorites, of course, were the ones Brett made and the ones Lindsay was in. She loved going to the movie theater with family, friends, and even by herself. Her favorite movies included, “You’ve Got Mail”, every version of “Pride and Prejudice”, and anything with Sandra Bullock or Hugh Jackman in it. Bird family conversation is peppered with movie quotes and sometimes entire scenes, with appropriate accents, of course.

Sheri loved to teach. She taught youth Sunday School and Young Women’s for a zillion years. She would often sit on the table, swinging her legs, snapping her gum - and sharing her unshakable testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. She had a special connection to the youth. They loved her – but she loved them more. She was a role model to so many – she’s the one they want to be like when they grow up. She made them all feel that they were her very special favorite. And they were. Each one of them. She often shared that the most important thing she wanted the youth to know was that they were children of a loving Heavenly Father and when they understood that, everything else would fall into place.

Hours after Keith’s passing a close friend asked Sheri how her children were. Her answer was so profound that I wrote it on a sticky note that still hangs in my office. “They’ll be fine. They know. They’ve been taught.”

She loved to study the scriptures. Her study materials were always spread across her bed. I think she actually slept with them! She loved preparing lessons because of the study opportunities it brought. She felt a special kinship to Brigham Young and was convinced she knew him well in the pre-earth life. And she appreciated Elder Bednar’s talk on “tender mercies of the Lord” because she recognized so many “tender mercies” in her own life.

Her favorite places on the earth were the temple, Disneyland, the Amalfi  Coast of Italy… and Costco on Saturday morning. She loved the peace and serenity of the temple and went there often. It was fun to go to the temple with Sheri and her joy was contagious. I lost count of the number of times she went to Disneyland but lets just say she could be a Disney consultant.  Her trip to Italy with Lindsay was the dream of a lifetime and …Costco was, well Costco. I never figured that one out…

…Except that she loved people. If you ever went anywhere with her, it seemed she knew everybody. Her vivacious personality and interest in others endeared her to many. Store clerks, bank tellers, nurses, mechanics, pizza delivery people, all knew her by name. And she knew theirs, and their spouses, and their families. I know so many of you – not necessarily by personal acquaintance, but by personal interaction with Sheri. She felt there were no coincidences when it came to the people who shared her life.

She loved our neighborhood. Many times after visiting with one of our neighbors in the cul-de-sac, she’d come in the house and say. We are so lucky. We have the best neighbors in the whole world. And we do.

She loved her employees. Which might be a really awkward description for most bosses, but not for Sheri. They were her guys. She fondly called them Joe-y and Craig-y and well, just Eldon. She loved their stories –  and being in the drain and sewer business, we have some really good ones. She wanted them to be successful and to provide well for their families. She prayed for them constantly, that they would make good choices in their personal lives - and was there for them in their challenges. She was the best boss, ever.

Whenever my dad called he would always ask “How’s our girl” I knew, of course, that OUR girl, referred to Sheri. Like many of you, we considered Sheri “our” own. She was an honorary member of many of our families. A “second mom”, “like a sister”, or an “adopted daughter”. Thank you Gay and Larry for sharing your daughter with us and for shaping the woman she was to become.

Sheri LOVED her family. Her mom Gay, who she always called the BEST mother in the world, and her husband Chuck, who cares for and loves her mother; She loved her dad Larry and his wife Marilyn. She loved her sisters Penny and Lori and was always so concerned about them and her favorite brother Charlie. Sheri was so grateful to her mother in law for raising her son Keith in truth and righteousness - and LaVerne, you probably always knew it was Sheri behind the special thoughts and gifts on holidays and special occasions.

Sheri loved her sons in law, Todd and France. She said she never wanted another family picture with just her five children, because when her daughters married them, they became her sons.

Sheri loved her three and a half grandchildren, Evie, Sienna, and Sammmy. They brought so much joy into her life. She loved being grandma-in-a-box on Skype, but couldn’t wait to hug ‘em and love ‘em in person.

Sheri loved Kelsey, totally and unconditionally. She was his greatest advocate. She felt blessed to be his mother. Kelsie became the man of the house, her stand-in date and movie partner.

Sheri loved Jennifer. She described her as her tall, poised, elegant daughter. If you needed someone in your corner, you turned to Jen - always late, but totally reliable. Sheri considered her the best listener and the best ooh-er and ahh-er.

Sheri loved Lindsay. We both lived vicariously through Lindsay’s adventures. They were more than shopping buddies, they were best friends. When Lindsay is around, life is a party. Who else had the spunk and stamina to care so lovingly for her mother?

Sheri loved Brett - her rock and her protector. He could do no wrong. She always knew that her “Bretty” was going to be stalwart and successful. No question about it. and she never worried about his testimony or the choices he would make.

She loved her Jakee - Her most tenderhearted son. Elder Bird is exactly where Sheri wanted him – on a mission in Arizona. She felt her time with him was cut short, and maybe that was why she felt that need to spoil him. He was her little miracle and that was never far from her mind. She told Lindsay, “I’m not scared to die, I’m not scared to go, but I can’t leave my Jakey. So please take care of him.”

Finally, she loved her husband Keith, her eternal sweetheart. The city girl and the country boy made an amazing duo. The sorrow of OUR loss is tempered by the joy in THEIR reunion.

In closing I would like to paraphrase the words of a song that perfectly describe not who Sheri WAS, but who Sheri IS, for I know I will see her again… for “that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory.”

 “Woman of wisdom, teacher of truth, keeper of covenants, guardian of good, partner in promise, seeking eternal treasures, woman of Christ, Daughter of God”  (Tammy Robinson, Who We Are).